


What a mess she is

by thecatwomantohisbatman



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drunk Lydia, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Jealous Lydia, allison is there in spirit, lydia is ooc alil but not too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 21:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1914519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecatwomantohisbatman/pseuds/thecatwomantohisbatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia has been feeling really alone lately, she thinks maybe going to a party could help. A game of seven minutes in heaven and getting drunk might be the key to stop thinking about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What a mess she is

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like it, it's way more angsty then I thought it would be, but I know you guys love he pain so <3

Lydia likes parties, parties are where she goes when she doesn't want to think of anything of importance, parties are her safe place. So that's why she is at one right now on a Friday night. She wanted to escape all the craziness, she hasn't told anyone about this party, not Scott, not Kira, and especially not Stiles. She has been distancing herself from the pack more and more, it's not that she wanted too, but the truth is that Lydia was feeling very alone around them. Without Allison she felt a big whole in her heart, not only has she lost her best friend, she lost her sister. No one could ever replace, or make her feel better. The only one that came close was Stiles, but stiles didn't seem to really care for her lately. Since him and Malia became.. whatever they were, things wasn't the same anymore between her and Stiles, she wanted to blame it on Malia but she knew it wasn't her fault. Lydia felt mad,replaced even jealous every time Malia was around she Lydia decided to stop being around them, she was basically like the fifth wheel anyway no one would miss her.

the music was blasting everyone was getting drunk and having fun, but there Lydia was with her apple juice watching other people have fun. She remembers being the girl hosting the parties, and getting tipsy with the popular crowd so much has changed now.She was actually starting to enjoy herself when she saw the entire pack walk through the door. Her first instinct was to run and hide, which she was about to do until Kira caught her.

 

"Lydia! Hi, we didn't know you were going to be here"

Of course you didn't Kira she thinks, you didn't invite me.

"Well it was kind of a last minute thing" she says trying not to feel hurt about the fact, that they were going out without her, she couldn't be mad about it, she didn't even want to see them here.

"Well now that we're all here you can came hang out with us, it's been a while" Kira says taking her hand.

"I don't know.. I-" Lydia can't is cut by Kira dragging her with her.

"Lydia hey! " Scott says smiling, while Malia smiles to her and stiles just stares and finally says

"Hi" while rubbing the back of his neck.

Oh good she made everyone feel uncomfortable.

"Where have you been we haven't seen you in a while" Malia says holding Stiles' hand.

"Well I guess no one was really looking for me anyway" She say with a bitter tine, she immediately feels bad for saying it, all of their eyes go sad for a moments, she can tell they want to say something that would make it okay, she sees pity in their eyes and it makes her sick. It makes her sick to think that she is this pathetic.

"Anyway this was fun but I have to go play that seven minutes in heaven game , they invited me earlier" she says turning away

"Oh I never played that! should we play too ?" Malia says.

Rolling her eyes, Lydia turns herself back to them saying "Why not"

So much for getting away from them.

 

They all get in the a circle the pack and a bunch of other people, Lydia does her best not to be close to the pack, she knows it kinds of makes her seem like little but of a bitch but she can't help it.

The game goes on Scott ends up going into the closet with a random girl, after he promises Kira they only talked. Of course they only talked it's Scott McCall we are talking about !  
It's finally her turn to spin the bottle. When she does,she closes her eyes, because with her luck she probably going to end up with some weird horny freshmen. When she opens her eyes she sees that it's far worst. Of course it landed on stiles when she is trying to keep herself away from him.

Scott and Kira give each other a look, as if they know how awkward this situation was, so Lydia just stands up and goes into the closet. She waits for a maximum of 1 minutes before Stiles joins her.

"So.." Stiles says not looking at her

"we don't have to do anything stiles " she says rolling her eyes.

"I know.. but can we like.. talk"

"Yes.. about? " she says in a naive tone

"Okay just stop doing that "

"Doing what?"

"Act like nothing is wrong between us"

"Like you care" she says looking down

"Of course I care, I wouldn't be asking you about it if I didn't. Lydia you have been avoiding us like the plague lately and I just want to know why.. did I do something-"

"no you didn't it's not anyone's fault okay. I'm grieving my best friend and I'm not feeling really social at the moment so drop it" She says still looking down.

She feels the tears coming down and she does her best tokeep them in without success.

"Stop Lying to me" he says crossing his arms "Look, there is something else wrong so just tell me so I can help you, you know I'm always here for you."

she laughs, and not just a little one, she let's out a big laugh, she didn't mean too but it came out anyway .

"You? you are always there for me?? Where the hell where you stiles huh? where were you when I was skipping school to go to the cemetery, where were you when I started skipping lunch or when I got a C in chemistry because I couldn't focus I was so sad ? WHERE HE HELL WERE YOU ?!" she doesn't bother keeping her tears in anymore she let them fall as she continues her speech "The truth is that I wasn't avoiding the pack I was avoiding you because you don't care about me anymore and it kills me, I hate feeling that way I feel pathetic"

she sees a flash of hurt go through his eyes "I thought you just wanted some space- I didn't-"

"Oh please it's not like you would've notice, not when you're always with-" She stops herself, but she knows she already gave too much.

"Malia? is this about her?"

"have you not listened anything I said?" she says feeling stupid, of course he would make it about Malia.

"Yes I did.. but does Malia bother you or something?"

"god ! Stiles no I don't care about Malia this is not what this is about! I just- you don't care anymore and it's fine whatever live your life but don't come to me asking why I don't want to be around you anymore"

He stares at her in shock, for a moment she feels bad that she might have been to hard on him. He shouldn't feel bad about having someone else in his life, he shouldn't feel like he did something wrong, She shouldn't let him feel this way. But her jealousy is talking the best of her and she can't help it. She is angry at him for no being there, she is angry at him for not noticing, she is angry at him for not needing her and she is angry at him for being with someone else.

Silence fall between them and she keeps asking herself if it was10 minutes in heaven because this moment has to be the longest she has ever been through.

"Okay.. screw this" Stiles finally says "You don't get to make me feel bad about what I have with Malia, you don't. I know you lost your best friend, but guess what Scott lost his first love, argent lost his daughter I lost a friend everyone lost someone, but you don't see us avoiding each other! I know it's hard but you can't blame me for wanting to stop feeling crappy about myself. Malia makes me happy and you-" He stops himself. he looks at Lydia who never looked more hurt. He was about to say that he didn't mean it when she whispered

"Not me" she says looking down.

"that's not-"

"How do I make you feel then stiles.... crappy ? is that what I make you feel?"

"That's not what I wanted to say"

"well guess what I don't give a crap what you meant, I don't give a crap what you do with her, have fun, but you know what.." she says pointing a finger at your chest " don't EVER COMPARE ME TO HER! EVER !"

she feels like an idiot, she knew she shouldn't have said anything, now he probably hates her, there is no coming back from this.

Before one of them can say anything else, the door swings open, they stare at everyone in shock while the others do the same, they must be shocked that they found Lydia in tears instead of a hot make out session. Lydia eyes fall on the pack and she knows they heard everything, she would feel ashamed if she didn't feel so numb. She simply gets out of the closet and walks to the nearest exit not forgetting to take an entire bottle of vodka on her way out. She ignores stiles or Scott calling her name she just get's inside her car and drives.

She went where to the only place she felt safe lately, in a graveyard, with Allison. Lydia was drunk and crying over the grave

"I'm so stupid, I don't know why I though he would even understand! HOW DARE HE! she makes me happy but you, you what you suck? you're a bitch? you make me feel like shit? Who the hell does he think he is I don't give a crap who he has sex with! What a piece of shit, I needed him, he wasn't there ! now it's my fault ?GOD!" She takes another sip touching the gravestone "You know he once told me he knew I was acting dumb, that he knew I was smart. He was one of the first people who saw me.. like really saw me. He gets me you know, I wanted to deny it so many times, but I couldn't anymore with the emotional tether and... the kiss. I never told you about it, I should have, I kissed him to stop his panic attack but after it felt like so much more. I miss you, I miss him....I'm falling for a guy who doesn't care, it's too late, I screwed it all up, but I need him, I need him so much, I'm so pathetic." After that she lays on the grass crying some more. she finally decides to call him, her drunk self thinks it's a great idea, of course She ignores the fact that it's 3 in the morning.

Lydia !where are you I-"

"Stiles" she says with a smile "hi"

"Just tell me where you are Lydia you left pretty upset with a bottle of vodka so please just-"

"I miss you, I'm so so sorry about what I said, oh god you must think I'm the worst person on Earth . I feel so alone, I just want you to be here with me"

"Just tell me where you are and I'm coming to you right now"

"Are you alone?" She says suddenly.

"No... We're trying to find you"

"Am I really that messed up that everyone needs to be looking for me"

"No" he says with a sad voice " of course not, we're just worried"

"God I suck so bad, I'm going to regret saying all those things to you tomorrow, but can you come find me alone please, I just want you" Those words mean so much while not meaning anything at all

"Okay, where are you?"

"At the cemetery"

A good 20 minutes passes before she hears him calling her name

He doesn't have to say anything, she just runs into his arms and he holds her close caressing her hair

"I'm so sorry" she says

"No I'm sorry okay, let's get you home"

The drive back to her house is silent when they get to her house she feels the tears coming back, but instead of turning herself away from stiles she looks him directly in the eyes.

"Lydia please stop crying, I'm so sorry, I hurt you" she says taking her hand squeezing it

"Do I really make you feel crappy ?" she says with a small voice.

"No I never said that that is not what I wanted to say, I wanted to say that you make me feel crazy"

"Why?"

"Because I had a crush on you since forever now, but you don't feel the same way, we hold hands, you don't feel the same way, we are are connected you still don't, we kissed you.. you will never feel the same way and it makes me feel miserable, I can't wait for this to maybe happen I can't "

"Why don't you think I feel the same"

He looks at her frowning, Lydia decides that it's now or never. The 30 minutes drive back to her house had sober her up, which kinds of makes it harder than if she was drunk. she knows it's time because if she doesn't say it know she might never say it.

"What are you saying?" he says still frowning.

"Look stiles the reason why I was so hurt is... yes because I felt alone but I'm jealous of.. you and Malia, I'm jealous of what you guys have because I can't help but think.. you should be with me"

he doesn't say anything she thinks maybe he needs more.

"You have been my rock over the pass year, you make me feel so safe and when I'm with you I get all these butterflies in my stomach and god Stiles how can you not see I much i like you" she says still holding his hands.

"You- don't do that to me Lydia"

She stares at him in confusion "What do you-"

"Are you seriously telling me that you like me"

"No" he looks away when she says that "I'm saying that I'm in love with you and that I'm done keeping this feeling inside, and maybe I'm too late, but I still feel this way for you and I have for a long time now"

he looks at her "I'm not dating Malia" he suddenly say.

"What?"

"We are not dating we are.. I don't know what we are, I think we are the same thing that you an Aiden were" Lydia ignored the hurt she feels hearing his name."We're not a couple"

"What are you trying to say?" she says

"I'm trying to say that I don't have a girlfriend so you might want to come closer so I can kiss you"

She laughs but she does like she is told, and when their lips touch it's unsure, until stiles takes the lead and deepening the kiss cupping her right cheek, she grips the front of his shirt , her tongue sliding inside his mouth, he moans at the action doing the same, the kiss gets more and more intense, he holds her tighter as if he's afraid she might disappear. They kiss for what seems a life time until Stiles pulls away not before Lydia bites his lower lip to make him stay.

"Oh okay you're a lip bitter"

"I'm a lot of things" she say gripping his shirt tighter.

"Lydia?"

"yes ?"

"I think we should stop because you're drunk and-"

"Shut up stiles I sobered up, and no I won't think it's a mistake tomorrow"

"Really ?"

"Yes really ! Damn it I've been wanting for this for like 3 months"

"Whoa three months that must be like a really long time, it's not like you've been waiting since third grade"

she gives him a playful tap " Oh shut it"

" Also you should get some rest, and I don't want this to go too far until I talk to Malia " he says brushing a hair of her face.

"Yeah I understand" she says smiling

"Oh and here" he says giving her her bag "You forgot it at the party"

"Oh god I complete forgot, you are a life saver"

"Anything for you" she smiles at that "I love you Lydia, so much"

She looks at him in his gold browns eyes caressing his cheek "You, are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, I hope you know that" She kissed him on the lips softly and whispers "I love you too idiot"

"You ruined the moment when you called me a idiot, good job"

She rolls her eyes smiling fondly at him, because this boy is so wonderful she never met anyone like him "Don't you worry, you'll have plenty of other moments to ruin too" she says smiling " Good night Stiles"

"Goodnight Lydia"

And with that she leaves. Lydia has felt a lot of different emotions lately, grief, anger, sadness.She wanted them to all go away, but for the first time in her life she feels something she hopes will never go away happiness, and all that because of a handsome spastic kid. What a mess,

And she hopes it never stops.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!!! I had a lo of fun writing this!
> 
> Please comment so I can know if I did good ! :)  
> Much love


End file.
